I Wish I Had a Time Machine
by fanficismysecretobsession
Summary: Ever wonder what happened at the Homecoming dance in season 1? Find out, from inside Logan's head. One Shot LoVe


**Name:I Wish I Had a Time Machine.**

**Pairing: pretty much LoVe, it isn't anything else, but they aren't really together.**

**Summary: we never got to see what happened at Homecoming in season 1, only that Veronica got to go skinny dipping. Here is just a little piece of Logan's thoughts at the dance. It's angsty, and not much really happens, but I for one was quite curious to know about that night, so I decided to take a shot at it, and take a look into Logan's head at the same time. I hope you guys think I've got his voice right, and that you enjoy the story. The only thing I own is the idea for the story.**

I wish I had a time machine, so I could go back to this exact moment last year, when I was happy.

The rich supposedly have access to whatever they want, but the one thing I want – except, perhaps, for another bottle of Jack Daniels to forget myself in – can't be bought, because it doesn't exist.

Sitting here, watching the couples bump and grind on the dancefloor, I almost wish that I'd had that experience, just once.

But, of course, having blown everything, yet again, I'm facing what is pretty much my last Homecoming dance without a single memory of being on the dancefloor with my girlfriend.

This time last year I didn't want that kind of memory, the conventional memory that my best friend Duncan always talked about wanting.

This time last year I was wandering along the beach with my arm around the girl I loved and a bottle of Jack in my other hand.

This time last year I was having a blast with my best friends in the world, acting stupid and getting drunk while our peers were dancing in the same stuffy gymnasium I'm sitting in now, and our parents were sitting at home thinking we were at the dance.

But now, oh, now, I'm alone. My girlfriend is six feet under, Duncan is making conventional, albeit drug-addled, memories with a nondescript sophmore, and the fourth of our quartet – Veronica Mars – has her arms wrapped around the neck of one Troy Vandergraff.

I've gotta say, I didn't think this was the kind of event Veronica would relish going to.

Sure, this time last year, all she wanted was to show off her pale pink floaty dress, and drink punch and dance with Duncan, but now…

The new, badass Veronica, the one who does indeed rock the red satin look that Lilly always said she would, scorns this kind of thing.

The new, badass Veronica is making conventional memories, with her ex-boyfriend – the one she wanted to make the memories with – on the otherside of the room.

This Troy dude is trying to turn her back into the Veronica she was last year, when she was beloved by all and thought that everyone was basically good.

I think I prefer the new Veronica, who is inclined to be suspicious of everyone and is definitely disliked by most.

I don't think I'd mind making conventional memories at a high school dance if I was making them with this Veronica.

When I was fifteen I thought I wouldn't making those memories with the old Veronica, but age and a dead girlfriend have made me grow up, and now I know that it would have been boring.

Old Veronica would have made bland conversation about how cool this years theme is – and sure enough I can hear her saying half-heartedly to Vandergraff right now – and how nice everyone's dresses were.

Old Veronica would have loved to have a corsage and worn it proudly.

If I'd gone to Homecoming with old Veronica I would have been bored off my ass.

New Veronica would be a blast to go to Homecoming with, and I can't help but wonder why Troy is wasting the gift he has been sent in the form of a sarcastic blonde midget.

New Veronica would make snarky comments about the lameness of the theme, and joined me in laughing at what everyone was wearing.

New Veronica would have laughed in my face if I'd been stupid enough – as Troy was – to bring her a corsage, instead of discretely ditching it in the trash when Troy wasn't looking.

New Veronica and I would have had a great time making not-quite-conventional memories tonight.

I think I miss her, but also know that I've missed my chance the Veronica department.

Maybe if I hadn't been such a jackass to her these past few months, maybe then I would have had a chance with her, maybe I'd be happy now, and I wouldn't need a time machine.

If I'm honest with myself, I think I've had a thing for Miss Mars since I first met her, at the age of twelve.

This time last year I admitted that I'd thought her cute when I moved here, but I omitted the fact that I'd wanted to date her the day I met her.

A new song comes on, and I automatically look at where she is dancing with Troy.

This is our song.

Throughout our friendship, we've always been the only two people we knew who loved this song, and whenever it came on, at whatever dance or party, or just chill out, we'd seek eachother out and dance.

I see her staring back at me, and I silently ask her _'will you dance with me?'_

She nods slightly, and mutters something to Troy as I make my way over to them.

I can hear the shocked whispers as her hands snake around my neck, and mine rest low on her back.

I know she can hear them too, but in typical Veronica manner she just juts out her chin and ignores them.

So here I am, doing what I wanted to, I'm dancing at Homecoming, with the girl I've always had a soft spot for.

If I'm brave, I could always take a shot at making those not-quite-conventional memories.

"So, what do you think of the theme?" I ask it lazily, but internally cross my fingers to hear the desired answer.

She comes through: "Worst thing ever, I mean come on 'Fifties Prom'? That's gotta be the worst choice since this school was founded."

I love the way it is coming so easily.

I can tell that once this song is over we'll go back to hating eachother, or at least she'll go back to hating me, and I'll go back to hating myself for making her hate me.

"And along with the bad theme comes some pretty bad outfits." I comment.

We spend the next minute of the (thankfully) long song dissing peoples outfits.

"You, however, look stunning." I take a gamble, hoping that she won't slap me or anything. "Lilly did always say you were red satin."

She smiles widely at me.

"Troy asked me why I went for the colour and when I told him he thought it was some girly, stupid reason. I'm so glad someone gets it."

I'm glad that I'm the one that gets it, not slimy Troy, or boring Duncan.

I look over at Duncan and find him staring at me and Veronica dancing, mouth open in shock.

I get a small kick out of rubbing it in my friends face that the girl we both secretly love will dance with me but not him, even though I've been horrible to her.

But all too soon the song is ending, and she pulls away from me, looking awkward.

I know that now I have to go back to jackass Logan so that she can feel like nothing has changed.

"Better run off to little Troy then, Ronnie. If I'd known you were that desparate for an excuse not to dance with him I would have requested the song hours ago." I snark.

She glares at me, and stalks off without a word, back into the arms of her slimy, stupid boyfriend.

He says something, and the fake laugh, that Veronica perfected in the days when she couldn't have offended a fly, peals through the air.

Man, that guy is so stupid for trying to make her regress.

But then again, I guess that makes me stupid for wanting to regress to last year.

Because, however much I wish it wasn't true, I still wish I had a time machine to take me back to last year.

To take me back to when I was happy, because even in the few almost fantasy minutes of that dance with Veronica, I wasn't happy.

I'll be happy when people stop staring at us for dancing together.

I'll be happy when it's normal for people to see us chatting and laughing, and – please, God – kissing.

I've changed my mind.

I wish I had a time machine, so that I could go back to that Homecoming and be happy, but I also wish that I could go back to a slightly different version of that night.

I wish that we were all best friends again, and that those drunken games happened, but I wish for the new Veronica to be there, by my side, and most definitely not by Duncan's.

Then again, I wished for a puppy when I was ten, but that wish didn't come true either.


End file.
